I remember waking up on Christmas morning and running to the Christmas tree to see what presents Santa Claus had left for me. I left cookies and milk for Santa and wrote him letters. We decorated the Christmas tree together and had extravagant Christmas day feasts. I counted off the days until the 25th of December and I was always on my best behaviour close to Christmas, just in case Santa was still putting a few names on the naughty list.
The magic of Christmas is something that’s impossible to put into words. It’s completely surreal and wonderful and exciting, all at the same time. My parents thought it wise to let me believe in Santa until I was almost 12 years old. I broke off a few friendships because not all children my age shared my wholehearted belief in Santa Claus. I chose to associate with friends who, like me, were still caught up in the fantasy and fairy tales of Christmas. Up until sixth grade, my only requirement for forming a friendship was whether you believed in Santa or not. When I finally came to the realisation that it wasn’t true, I confronted my mom and she looked at me with sad eyes. I couldn’t understand why my parents would allow me to embarrass myself like that.
And somewhere between my tweens and teens, I lost all of that Christmas magic. I barely noticed Christmas decorations in the shop and it almost started to feel like another normal day to me. I know that there is a season for everything in life, but it’s sad to know that I’ll never experience Christmas like a kid again. That season of my life is forever gone and it’s impossible to get back. Last year I noticed a flicker of excitement steadily swelling in my heart. I knew that that would be our last Christmas alone and that this year we get to celebrate William’s very first Christmas!
I decorated my Christmas tree in November because I simply couldn’t wait any longer. I got tears in my eyes when William saw the flickering lights for the first time. It looked like he had seen magic. Everywhere we go, he looks at the nativity scenes and the Christmas lights in awe. He coos and laughs and touches everything! I’ve also had to redecorate the Christmas tree after he got a hold of it and he’s chewed a few ornaments to bits. His favourite song to dance to is ‘Jingle Bells’ and I’ve sung it about ten thousand times already. I realised that this is a completely new season of my life. I won’t experience Christmas like a kid, but I’ll experience it through my kid. He’ll be counting off the days until Christmas day and he’ll write letters to Santa. He’ll help me decorate the tree and open Christmas presents. He’ll be on his best behaviour around Christmas and he’ll sing Christmas carols. And if he clings to his belief in Santa for a few years longer, I’ll leave him be and enjoy one or two extra Christmases with my kid. There really isn’t anything more spectacular than the wonder and amazement in a child’s eyes as he witnesses real Christmas magic for the first time. This is the season for his season.