My 26th birthday is fast approaching, and while I’m a sucker for all things birthday (including presents and copious amounts of cake), this year it just doesn’t seem that exciting. It’s actually quite terrifying to know that I’ll soon be yet another year older.
I don’t know if it’s because of lockdown blues or because I miss my family or simply because I don’t want to get older. Every now and then, when I’m supposed to be doing something else, I catch myself comparing my life to someone else’s. Whether it’s the Kardasians who are currently living in my dream home, some well-travelled Instagram influencer with 60k followers or one of those fitness models in a teeny bikini with an eight-pack. When I look at some people I wonder if my own life has reached a temporary pit stop, somewhere in the middle of the Karoo with nothing but desert as far as the eye can see.
I love my family and adore my baby boy, but I always thought that I would have my life together when I turned 26. I wanted to be further in my career and own more than a GHD straightener. I wanted to be thin and strong and wise beyond my years. I wanted to have more influence and a steadfast, normal and yes you guessed it… quiet life.
But God knows exactly how and when to speak to us. This week, I read something that said we shouldn’t compare our beginning to someone else’s middle. I thought about how extremely bored I’ve been the last couple of weeks, having the same routine and same four walls around me and I thought about what my life would actually be like if I got all the things that I wanted. Luckily God gives us what we need and not what we want. Jax Raw recently did an Instagram video that pertains to business marketing, but was such a revelation to my personal life too. She said that the ‘perfect life’ we all crave, is also static; it does not change, and it does not move. And every time I think of my life as static and unchanging, I get the same claustrophobic feeling I get when someone pins you down and you can’t move. It really is my greatest fear. I would rather be pudgy and poor and share my local road trips to the Spar with my three Instagram followers, than live a static life. My life might not be perfect but thank God it isn’t.
I think it’s extremely important to chase goals, but it’s also important to remember that we shouldn’t chase perfection. And when you start comparing your own beginning to someone else’s middle, it might cause you to give up before you can even get started. Run your own race, at your own pace and if you decide to swim, then that’s okay too.
Here’s to 26 more perfectly imperfect years.