It’s an age-old question that’s haunted many men and woman. It’s been a popular point of discussion in our house and we’ve even asked a few of our friends what they think. But I think it’s ultimately up to you; how big do YOU want it to be?
“When are you getting a little sister?” “Is number two on the way?” “You shouldn’t wait too long.” “The age gap will be too big!” “He can’t grow up alone.”
Does the size of my family really matter? Because I’m such an avid planner, it might shock you to know that I never planned the ‘if’s’ and ‘when’s’ of a second baby. In fact, there might not be a second baby. Or there might just be a second and a third. The pressure we put on family’s and mothers these days is extreme. I remember being asked about a second baby while I was pregnant with my first and I was shocked because it just wasn’t something that I was thinking of at the time. You aren’t really in a ‘second-baby-state-of-mind’ when the first one is busy using your bladder as a chew toy or when he keeps you up all night or when he’s wreaking havoc everywhere or when he’s throwing tantrums.
I do realise that this isn’t the norm for everyone. I’ve met pregnant moms who said that they would wait exactly one year before trying to fall pregnant with a second baby. I’ve also met a few who said that it’s best to have two babies under two and some have suggested that having one every two years is best. I’ve heard that it’s fun to have a sibling start school and then to try to have another one. But I’ve realised that what might be best for you, isn’t necessarily best for me. And that’s okay.
Don’t get me wrong. There have been times when I was so broody that I would cry about not having a second child. There have also been times when I was crying with relief because I only had one baby to look after. We’ve even discussed the option of not having more children (gasp). And all of it is okay. We are incredibly indecisive people, so I guess it’s natural to be indecisive about when and if we want to bring another little person into the world. We haven’t decided yet because for now, we feel complete. Now is our time, just the three of us. We have tomorrows for a reason. For me, it’s not really about the size of my family. It’s about the amount of love shared between us.